The Convenient Groom and Wedding Machine by Denise Hunter

Author:Denise Hunter
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
Published: 2010-09-10T00:00:00+00:00

As Ray pulls back onto Highway 17, she gets stuck behind a tractor going ten miles an hour. Then she hears her cell phone buzzing in her pocketbook.

“Mama,” Priscilla says from the other end of the line. “Where have you been?”

“At the doctor in Charleston,” Ray says. “Then to the health food store where I had to buy some funny kind of herbs they want me to take—ginkgo biloba and don quai.”

“Ooh,” Priscilla says. “Herbs can work wonders. I took these rishi mushrooms last year when I had this awful chest cold, and they cleared me right up.”

“Hormones can do wonders too.” Ray comes upon an elderly man driving a tractor down the single lane highway. “When does your flight get in?”

“10:05, from LaGuardia.”

“And you’re coming alone?” Ray crosses her fingers.

“Yes, Mama,” Priscilla says. “J.K. has a shoot, so he can’t make it.”

“Well, all right.” Ray tries to hold back her enthusiasm. “I’ll make sure your daddy is at the airport before ten.”

Yes. Ray snaps her telephone shut. Priscilla’s last two boyfriends have been so awful that Ray and Willy have named them Poop 1 and Poop 2. The current one, J.K. (Poop 2) is by far the worst. Priscilla was the valedictorian of William Bull High, but she took a wrong turn in college and wound up majoring in film and television production, of all the inane things. She met Poop 2 on the set of this reality TV show, Knucklehead, where the idiot pins raw T-bones to his clothes and roasts himself over a grill and calls it entertainment. Oh, Ray’s got to get her away from him.

“No Poop 2 for the wedding weekend!” she calls to the heavy salt air. This good news is almost enough to cancel out the fact that my private parts are withering on the vine.

Ray claps her hands, presses the gas, and moves out into the two-lane highway to pass the tractor. A convertible sports car comes flying down the road opposite her, and she swerves back behind the tractor and barely misses the giant tires, their wide, mud-encrusted grooves spinning slowly forward.

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